Last night mom said the words “We’re going…” I was so excited. I know those words usually mean a trip somewhere. She went upstairs to her bathroom which she does every time before she leaves the house. Then she reached over and took my collar off and placed it on the vanity. What? No! I need that! I can’t go out without my collar. I feel naked without my bright red collar. I stood up on the vanity and grabbed my collar figuring mom was having (what she calls) a meno-moment. I was mistaken. She took it back and placed it on the vanity once again with a firm, “No Simba, leave it there.” She turned the shower on in the scary rainy room. I wondered why she needs my collar to stand in the rainy room like she does every morning. Suddenly, the door closes behind me. Oh no! I know what this means. I start to scatter around in the 3’x5’ area. Right, like I ever had a chance of getting away with that kind of space. No matter, I still struggled and wrestled for my freedom. I wiggled and jumped and pulled but mom still seemed to somehow pick me up. My mom is really super strong. Mom stepped into the tub, closed the tub door and lowered me slowly. Nowhere to turn!*@!*# I tried to the right, to the left, to the back; there was no getting away now. Mom slowly brought the handheld shower closer to me as she said, “You’ll love it, it’s nice and warm just like we like it.” The sprinkling rain first spooked me and made me jump. But mom’s calm voice telling me that it was all okay helped soothe me. She has never led me wrong. You know what? It actually started feeling pretty good as she scrubbed and massaged my back, legs, neck, ears and tummy. It made me feel all tingly. We were finally done and the water off. Mom towel dried me and I jumped out of the tub all by myself. I’m such a big girl. We cleaned my ears out. I don’t like getting my ears cleaned. It makes squishy and gurgly sounds in my head and I can’t hear very good. I have to shake my head like a crazy lunatic to get all that stuff out so mom can dry them out. Sometimes some cleaner spills on the floor when mom squirts it in my ears. I keep alert for this because I love to lick it up. Mom says, “Ewe, yucky.” But she does not know what she’s missing. It’s like a salty martini. Ahh, now I feel soft, smell good and look dressed with my collar back.